Money Wives And Child Abuse In Cross River State.

Becheve is a community in Obanliku Local Government Area of Cross River. It’s an eight hours drive from Calabar, the State Capital but it is stuck with an age-long bizarre culture.

The cultural practice of ‘money marriage/wife’ is a custom in which a girl child is sold out to a man by her parents as wife in exchange for livestock like goats, farm produce like barns of yams or to pay a debt. It is a practice found in some communities in the present day Cross River state.

Even after the death of the husband, the girl is given to the late husband’s next of kin. If the ‘money woman/wife dies’ without a child, the man is free to go back to his in-laws and pick another ‘money woman/wife’ of his choice.

According to the practice, once a girl becomes a ‘money woman/wife’, she is considered dead by her family and must not return irrespective of how she is treated by her husband or his relatives.

The communities are covered with thick vegetation. Obanliku, being the local government area where these communities are situated, sits on a mountainous terrain thousands of meters above sea level. Behind the cloudy terrain are the heart-wrenching stories of young Becheve girls sold into marriage in exchange for food items, and in settlement of their parents’ debt.

Little girls are being forced into marriage at an age that can be as young as 4 years. The girls are bound by an oath called “Olambe” when they are handed over to the creditors/husband. Money woman/wife do not report their ordeal or run away for the fear of diabolical repercussion of the “Olambe”.

Becheve is a large community in Obanliku with 17 communities. This evil custom is practised in all of the 17 communities of Katele, Amana, Ogbakoko, Belinge, Ranch, Ikwette (old and new), Imale, Ekor, Kalumo, Yindive, Makambe, Apambu, Belegete, Kajinga, Mangbe, Mbunu and Agusor. Despite sharing location with popular Obudu Cattle Ranch and Resort which attracts tourists from across the world, men in this community have refused to give up the ancient custom.

Society groups, and advocacy groups have tried to make the people of Becheve see the wrong in the ancient ‘Money Marriage’ but they are stuck in this old practice. Richards Akonam is a missionary who has dedicated over two decades to build a strong advocacy against ‘Money Marriage’ in Becheve. He is sad that the culture has eaten deep into the people and it has become a normal practice.

Relatives of the ‘Money Woman’ are proud of their actions that they freely visit the ‘couple’ after the ‘marriage and they are given various items during the visit.

The groom however records every item given out to the in-laws during the visit and the Money Wife continues working on the farm.

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“If the mother is the greedy type, she’ll often visit her ‘in-law’ to get stuff.

“While her parents or relatives share money and other gifts given them by the ‘groom’, she is left alone to struggle and find a means of survival.

“The girl (money girl) can only benefit if anyone who has gone to collect anything shares with her. This hardly happens. She will be responsible for taking care of herself by farming or otherwise. None of her relatives will buy or give her gifts. She now belongs to another and helping her translates to helping her owner.”

This alien practice is sadly a status symbol and show of pride among the men of Becheve. There is almost no family in Becheve without a ‘Money Wife’.

Destiny (Not the real name) is one of the survivals of the money wife. We met her during our visit to Katele, one of the communities of Becheve, where we interviewed her and her mother who is also a money wife.

Watch the Interview below

Impact of money marriage on Becheve girls

  • They are often denied education.
  • They are considered as properties
  • They put the girl-child into slavery, servitude and untold suffering.
  • They are exposed to all manner of  abuse such as physical, psychological, mental and sexual.
  • They are vulnerable to sexually transmitted diseases and HIV as they are forced into sexual activities without protection from men who have multiple partners.
  • The girls are at risk of contracting Vesico-Vaginal Fistulae (VVF) because their pelvic is not mature enough to allow a baby pass through it, when they get pregnant after being married early. VVF is a silent tragedy for child brides.

We therefore call on the Nigeria Police Force, Federal Government Agencies, NAPTIP, and National Human Rights Commission to end this backward, degrading, and dehumanizing cultural practice in Cross River State.

We also call on philanthropists, cooperate organizations, and other well meaning individuals to donate to Destiny’s relocation, educational needs, and livelihood support.

NO TO MONEY-WIVES

NO TO CHILD MARRIAGE

Let’s work together to stop violence against women and children.

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