Basic Rights Counsel Initiative (BRCI) organizes a debate series tagged #BRCIDebate. the debate is aimed at breaking the culture of silence around child abuse. It is a platform where topical issues are addressed by experts. The debate is usually streamed live on our Facebook Page. You can watch all previous editions of #BRCIDebate on our Facebook Page. In this interview, a young woman has related to us her experience growing up in a home where her parents never spanked her and her siblings. She has pleaded that her identity should not be published.
These were some of the questions that were asked during the course of the interview:
Tell us about your siblings:
I am from a family of six (6), four (4) girls, two (2) boys.
Tell us about your mother, and growing up:
I come from a family, where my parents did not believe in spanking a child. And my mother does not believe in the scripture that, ‘’spare the rod [sic] and spoil the child’’.
My mother has a quiet nature. She has never slapped[or]flogged me while growing up. Instead she pets and looks for a way to make us do house chores. My mother motivates and respects us her children. I was made to understand that, my mother lived with her father and her father had no reason to spank his children; this passed on.
Tell us about your father:
My father is hot tempered, and stammers while talking. He always advises us to be good children. Whenever we do something wrong, he will ask my mother to talk to us, and leaves the house immediately. And if the issue is very serious, he just stares at us in a particular way.
How do your parents react when you do something wrong?
My parent cannot spank us instead the talk to us about what we have done, and why, and we will promise that it will not repeat itself. And sometimes, when we are down and they are advising us, the will buy gifts for us and call us sweet names in order to get washing of plates, instead of beating, shouting at us or doing anything to us that will hurts us, because words are very powerful.
We grew up in that way.
Were there times your parents were annoyed with you and your siblings?:
Yes, but they never reacted through violence or provocative statements that will demean our personality or make us cry. They will hold our hands and, try to find out why we did what we did.
What did you learn from your parents?
I learnt that, we should not spank a child, nor talk to a child no matter what the child has done, to safe guard the emotions of the child.
Learn to be accountable to your children, and discuss everything with them. Including the change, you want to see in them.
Advise to the people:
- Learn to educate your child on the danger of what he or she is doing.
- Sit and talk with your children, especially when they go wrong, instead of embarrassing them.
- Learn to resolve issues with your children. Child can get use to the spanking and not change.
- Learn to call your children pet names, and never use words to talk to them most especially when you are angry.
- Be accountable to your children and win their trust
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